Practice makes perfect. When you get serious about something you sell out to it. Nothing will stop you. Many of us have appointments with destiny. When we realize this nothing can stand in our way. We will put the work in to get to the place we need to be. The world is full of great achievement stories for athletes, businessmen and war heroes. Who doesn't love an against all odds success story? They inspire me. Inspiration is life changing, if we let it. Natural abilities and luck may play a part. People are born with gifts and abilities. That alone does not guarantee success. The learning process is unavoidable in life.
Nobody likes being the new guy. If you've ever been the new guy at work or school remember how painful and intimidating it can be. It is overwhelming. New places, new faces. Learning who is who and what is what. Nothing is more humbling than being the newest and greenest guy who knows the least. You are dependent on many variables and people to become proficient and of value to the workplace or team. Best approach may be to speak little and listen much. This may be why I am self-employed. I should have used my own advice. Old Barber Phil is the product of 35 years of the process. Young Phil didn't embrace the process. Shortcuts only bring pain and frustrations.
I remember the first week of barber school. I was all thumbs and didn't feel capable. Other students looked comfortable and seemed to be working without reservation. I was intimidated. I was nervous. In barber school, to make it worse, you start cutting peoples hair on day one. Not mannequin heads, people. Barbers have been trained this way for a long time. This is a tried and true process. It wasn't long and I began to feel more comfortable and capable. Not perfect, not even good but comfortable. Trusting the process and cutting hair is the only way to learn. Hands on, on the job training. In my business the process is never ending. We are learning everyday. We embrace the process of learning. It gives us staying power. When there is success we know that the process works. You see and others see it. It comes in every business or service or profession. Practice and experience will help you achieve success.
It is nice when the process works. It is satisfying. But it is not good when the process doesn't work. How do I know? I spent many years of my life investing in a bad process. I risked everything I had for a goal I did not achieve. I spent years of my life studying and sacrificing and in the end had to start at ground zero again. It's my story and I embrace it. I survived and my marriage survived. It was the best thing that could have happened now that I look back. It is not something I talk a lot about but it is not a secret. It is not a quick story and I don't want to share details. I feel like I need to write this. So I will give as brief a story as possible.
Many years ago I was at my bottom. In my early 20's I was struggling. I needed help. I went to a counselor and he didn't help. I fell through the cracks. In desperation I prayed. Over time my life changed. I had a life changing experience with God. Yes God. Over time my life continued to change. During this time I met my wife. We both began to see and know that our lives were being changed by God and we had new meaning in our lives. We in many ways became new people. We didn't join a cult, we were just normal people going to church and experiencing something we were missing from our lives. Meaningful faith. A foundation for our lives.
I wanted to take my faith to the next level. Helping others. How do you help others? Become a minister. The process began. Years of study. Years of dedication. But the process was not good. Much of this happened over a nine year period of my life. We sacrificed and lived meagerly. The ministry can put a mighty strain on families and I could see that in my home. The process didn't allow for you to be human. The process demands sacrifice. In many ways we were strong and prepared. In many ways we were not. I know now that churches are a meat grinder and many do more harm than good. Yes I said that and I believe it. A flawed process will not bring success. It may bring pain and disappointment.
I was given a gift. A time to learn and understand things over that nine years that no one can take away from me. I have seen people at their best and men at their worst. The process was bad. But it made me able to understand the learning process that works. The things that bring strength, growth and success in life and business. My worst failure made me stronger. But the greatest gift I received was a chance to build a foundational faith that has guided me through every storm. In church and out. My wife and I both have had people tell us we are living wrong now and should go back to the places that tried to destroy us. That chapter is yet to be written. I trust the good process. This process saved my life. The bad process almost destroyed us.
Through it all I can say, we have clean hands and a clean conscience. There was never impropriety or wrong doing. Never any criminal activity. I never had to leave, no moments of disgrace. Just common sense and a need to be allowed to be human. Many in the ministry are not allowed to be human. They need to be perfect and their spouses and kids need to be perfect. I still haven't found a learning process for that.
I toiled away years of my life in a bad process. I have no regrets now. But that has come with time. I was young, idealistic and I accept my piece of the blame. I only blame myself. I have no-one else to blame. I listened to others and trusted the wrong people. But I only have myself to blame. I have forgiven and moved on. Now I am better for it all and wouldn't change a thing.